Still being written

An Invitation Into My Journey of Widowhood, Healing, and Hope

When I first started writing, it was mostly survival. My journal caught the thoughts I didn’t want to say out loud—the messy ones, the honest ones, the prayers whispered in the dark. Over time, those scribbles began to change. They turned into little stories. And slowly, I realized they weren’t just stories about grief—they were about living again., living life out loud and with purpose. Living life full of joy!

Now, I see them as stories of recovery.

I call this season my “second chapter.” It doesn’t erase the first. That first chapter of my life with my husband will always be a part of me. But this? This is a new chapter. A chapter where the Lord is showing me, He still has plans for me. He’s been taking the broken pieces and shaping them into something I didn’t think was possible again: JOY! Guess what…. He still has plans for you too!

That’s why this is no longer just a journal. It’s becoming a book. Maybe my walk can help others see and know, there is joy in their future. Life still happens and is full of not just good stuff, but great stuff!

And here’s the honest truth: this book is still being written. There are parts I haven’t even touched yet—ideas scribbled on post its, topics I’m still working up on how to put them into words, stories that need a little more living before they can be shared. It’s a process. It’s me inviting you to walk with me as I sort through the raw, the redemptive, and the ridiculous moments of widowhood.

Because people have questions. Real questions. Sometimes the kind they’re embarrassed to ask. Here are a few questions that have people have asked me.

Questions like:

• “How long do you grieve before you’re supposed to be ‘okay’ again?”

• “What does it feel like to date after losing your spouse?”

• “Do you still love your late husband because you’ve fallen in love with someone else?”

• “Is it weird to wear your wedding ring? When did you take yours off?

• “Are you ever really ready to get married again?”

  And then there are the silent judgments widows face, the ones that could sting even if they aren’t spoken aloud: Although, these have come back to me, I can honestly say that it’s ok. It’s because they don’t understand. I too was the ‘judgy judge’. I get it. I do not take offense to these either.

• “She’s moving on too quickly.”

• “She must not have loved him enough.”

• “She shouldn’t be dating yet.”

• “How could she remarry and still honor her first husband?”

• “Why would you get married so soon?”

If you’re not a widow, maybe you’ve had these thoughts and felt guilty for even thinking them. If you are a widow, maybe you’ve felt the weight of them in whispers, glances, or your own self-doubt.

This book will be my way of putting it all on the table. Not with perfect answers, but with honesty and hope. With laughter and tears. With a faith that has carried me through the first chapter and into the second.

Because the truth is, the Lord really does bring life back and it’s full of His goodness. The book of Job is a great reminder.

With this book I want people to feel like that are stepping into a journey. One that’s still unfolding, with chapters yet to be written, and lessons still being lived.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find a piece of your own story there too. I will continue to journal and that will be a glimpse into what you will find in my ‘I don’t have a title yet book’. ha ha ha. If you have a suggestion, I’d love to hear it.

What question about widowhood have you always wondered, but never felt comfortable asking? Would you like me to write about it with my experience? You can DM me to keep it private. I am happy to share. I truly want my journey to be of encouragement and help for others.

So, in closing….. here I am—pen in hand, fingers on the keyboard, journal pages scattered, post it notes waiting their turn—and now, a book beginning to take shape. I don’t have it all figured out, and I don’t want to pretend I do. What I do know is that the Lord takes broken stories and breathes new life into them. He has done it for me, and He can do it for you.

This isn’t the end of my journey— I hope you find hope. Because even in widowhood—even in the moments we never thought we’d survive—God is still writing.

And maybe that’s the best way to begin: by admitting my story isn’t finished and neither is yours.